It will be done in but an instant

Journal entry 1 May 2016

I feel anxious about work. I feel like an imposter, I feel like I’m going to fail in this new role. I am setting unrealistic expectations for myself. I can’t be expected to know everything immediately. I feel like people are watching me and judging me – but that’s just my own ego in another disguise. I don’t want them to think less of me. I’m trying to redeem myself but I don’t know from what. I keep trying by forcing myself to do more and more difficult tasks. I get short-term fulfilment out of these but they only lead to more work and more difficult tasks. I’m always trying to impress people at work – I’m trying to impress God hoping He’ll notice and take pity on me. But He never notices.

Holy Spirit:  It’s time to stop trying to impress. It’s unnecessary. You are already back home, it’s already been accomplished, there’s nothing to strive for and nothing to prove. You don’t have to earn anything. You don’t need to sacrifice in pain and suffering to get – you’ve already received. You need to relax and see this. See the immense gifts your Heavenly Father has bestowed on you for nothing – He gives you everything and you give Him everything in return. There is no loss, only gain and love.

You only need to go through the motions at work and I will tell you what those motions should be. There’s nothing to figure out, just do as I tell you, like Neo following Morpheus’ instructions on the phone. If Neo had just done everything Morpheus told him to do in the office he would have been fine, but he got scared. Don’t get scared. Have faith in me as I and your Father have in you. You cannot fail but the seeming time it takes depends on your level of fear. Be courageous and have faith in me to lead you calmly and easily Home and it will be done in but an instant.

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